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What’s in a name?

January 26, 2010

It’s always great sport isn’t it when top line commentators struggle with a surname during the live broadcast of a sporting event. As a viewer, listener and a fan, I’ve always admired the professionalism and tact of such football luminaries as Motty, Mike Ingham, Jonathan Pearce, Martin Tyler and my personal favourite, Stuart Hall. The ease with which the lot of them rattle off complicated name after complicated name during their working afternoon or evening has often impressed me, much more so than say, television news readers, who, to be honest, just need to get the hang of an African or Eastern European politician a couple of times before moving on. It’s so easy to have a bit of a pop at the ref or commentator if you’re watching a game from the stands or on TV at home isn’t it, I couldn’t do either job but without them everyone’s footy experience would be quite a bit worse.

This got me thinking a bit about footballers handles, so I went digging about tinternet and stumbled across the following priceless examples, for sure, Clive Tyldesley would mutter a facetious comment or two and I can’t believe Stuart Hall wouldn’t get a tiny bit wheezy laughing, but see what you think.

Norman Conquest – this bloke was an Australian goalkeeper, presumably his folks Mr and Mrs Conquest knew bugger all about history.

Ralf Minge – actually managed 30 odd games for the East Germany, as was, in the mid eighties.

Raphael Scheidt – he probably looked good on the scout’s DVD but Celtic fans have long memories.

Ars Bandeet – nope not a spoof, Ars was an Algerian international. Unfortunately, well before television, Motty and the lads.

Argelico Fucks – no, seriously that’s his name. When he moved between Palmeiras in Brazil and Benfica the headline read ” Argelico off to Benfica” thing was the headline writers also included his surname as well though.

Mario Turdo – a good mate of Rafa Scheidt? Argy who didn’t impress fans at Spanish clubs Celta Vigo and Las Palmas by all accounts.

Quim – his real name is considerably longer but that’s how he likes to be known apparently, presently keeping goal for Benfica in the Portugese League

So there you go, I could have been there ages digging around but for now these will probably do.

What’s in a name? hours of puerile fine!
Does anyone have anymore?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. maserati4200 permalink
    January 27, 2010 10:00 am

    Ufarte (Spain, I think)
    Ian Bogie
    Fatih (Saudi, I think)
    Bernt Haas
    Ponce (Uraguay?)
    Titi Camara
    Danny Shittu
    Stefan Kuntz
    Brian Pinas
    Rafael Scheidt
    Paul Dickov

  2. George permalink
    January 27, 2010 12:37 pm

    Fatih is Turkish and I believe Ponce is Paraguayan.

    There was also a Uwe Fuchs, Milan Fukal and Johan de Cock!

    Out of Football, the best name I can think of is Napoleon Einstein who’s a young Indian Cricketer!

  3. January 27, 2010 12:56 pm

    Maserati and George, I could have gone on and on but restricted myself to a few that made me smile. A lot!!

    Outside of football in general sports we could all have a world of fun.

  4. maserati4200 permalink
    January 27, 2010 1:40 pm

    A few comedy football club names to add to the mix:

    1. Deportivo Wanka (Peru)
    2. FL Fart (Norway)
    3. Wormatia Worms (Germany)

    I have high hopes that Dean Windass will one day play for No. 2

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