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“We’re playing 4-4-f*****g-2”

September 5, 2009

1. The worst manager England never had 2. Knob with a brolly - the worst manager England did have 3. Oh Fabio. You thought no one was watching

Spot the odd one out? Capello.
He’s not a knob.

‘Mike Bassett, England Manager’ is the most legendary Football film ever made. Forget ‘Damned United’, ‘Football Factory’, ‘Mean Machine’. They’ve got nothing on Bassy. He danced half-naked on a bar infront of Pele, opened his curtains to the media completely starkers, and he liked the Christmas Pudding formation. Yes, I know it’s all fiction, but sshh. His hilarious antics but awful tactics and managerial ability make him the best and worst manager England never had. He’ll always be remembered as the guy who loved Kipling (not the cake maker), and the infamous speech that led to him announcing England would be playing “four-four-f*****g-two”. Brilliant.

Steve McClaren is just an idiot. He stood on the Wembley touchline with an FA sponsored umbrella, and a Wembley cup of Coffee (Probably decaf), and attempted to interact with a Dutch journalist (in English) by inheriting a Dutch accent. One of the most hilariously cringeworthy Youtube videos I’ve ever seen, and one that summed up his time as England manager. England failed to qualify for Euro 2008 with McClaren in charge, something that the majority of England fans have chosen to forget. Unfortunately for McClaren he’ll always be remembered for exactly that, along with the umbrella incident. Everyone is glad he’s buggered off to Holland. They can have him.

Then there’s Fab Cap. I don’t care that he wears speedos and poses like a page 3 girl. He’s a pure legend, and I respect him no matter what he does. He can wear pink bunny ears, and jump up and down on the touchline shouting “I love cake!” for all I care. I love the guy. England are unbeaten in all competitive fixtures under the Italian, and haven’t even dropped a point. Now just 3 points away from qualifying for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, Capello is right up there with the very best of England gaffers. What a hero.

Can’t wait to see who England’s next manager will be. Christopher Biggins? Barbara Windsor? The Hulk?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. September 5, 2009 10:13 pm

    Mike Basset England Manager – genius! Hahahaa

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