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Gael Kakuta – The Greatest Footballer in the History of Man and the Whole Known Universe..

September 4, 2009
"Hang on, did Didier just kick that ball at my face?...oh.."

"Hang on, did Didier just kick that ball at my face?...oh.."

“He’s here, hes there, hes every fcuking where. Ka-kuuu-taaaaa Ka-kuuu-taaaaa”

Yes Yes. Yesterday Google announced that the biggest increase in a search term was the words “Gael Kakuta”. Not Cristiano Crappants. Not Lionel Im Allowed to Headbutt People. Not even the original Golden Bollock Balls himself..

It was an unknown French teenager who plays for Chelsea’s reserves

And we all know WHY!

So now Mr Kakuta is the worlds most famous player after his 15 minutes of fame..infamy…whatever…we really should get to know a bit about him via the world of Youtube.

Well looks like the boy can play..he certainly looks better than Gabby Obertan (The next David Bellion?) He’s as fast as a Pig Virus in a school, and has the skills to pay the bills (if not to pay the £700k he now owes Lens) Of course in years to come if he plays for Chelsea, wins them loads of silverware and then Real Madrid buy him for £200 million, all of this furore will seem but a funny glitch in footballing memory. So soak up a bit of the Prems new teenage sensation.

Gael Blows In” The Sun will write, when he scores his first goal for The Blues.

Gael Force Wind Destroys (insert Barca, Real, United, whoever) After Stunning Display” will follow at some point.

And “Gael More Like a Tornado!” as he scores the winning goal in the Champions League final.

However, he may get chopped down and broken in half by Joey Barton in a reserves game this year, and we will never hear from the poor boy again.

Bless.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 5, 2009 12:47 pm

    I do hear good things about Kakuta – young player of the year and top goalscorer if what I read is right.

    Too bad he won’t get to play much with his match ban and all.

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